When God Says No: The Unanswered Prayers of Jesus

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When God Says No

An uncle recently wrote to me.  His young niece had been killed in a car accident.  She was a devout young woman raised by godly parents.  In fact, hours before her death, the niece and her mother had prayed together for traveling mercies.  Then she was gone.  The uncle wrote to me, “We pray for our children and their safety.  And then something like this happens.  Why?”  The uncle was respectful.  He was sensitive.  But clearly this was a difficult issue.  Why did God say “No” to prayers for safety, especially for this God-loving niece?

A man I know has a father who has suffered from chronic health issues for decades.  The son and his family have prayed for years for the father’s healing.  Recently, the father suffered a setback. I told the son I was praying for his dad.  He said, “Thanks.  But you know how I feel anymore about all those prayers.  We’ve prayed for years for Dad and God hasn’t done anything.”  Why did God say “No” to these prayers for healing?

Philip Yancey writes of receiving the manuscript of a memoir written by a young woman.[i]  While growing up, the woman was raped almost nightly by a family member.  The girl wrote, “I cried out every night for God’s help, to make it stop.  But God never answered.”  Why did God say “No” to this prayer for rescue?

These are difficult questions—perhaps the most difficult questions of faith.  And while we can provide some intellectual answers and reach some reasonable understanding, there remains mystery and some confusion.  And even our best intellectual answers often fall short for people when they in the midst of an unanswered prayer.  Reason matters little to a heart that’s broken.

Still, these experiences of unanswered prayer are so common and the pain so deep that we must make some attempt to wrestle with this issue.  In this series we will do just that.

One of our sources will be the so-called “unanswered prayers” in the Bible.  Repeatedly in Scripture godly, devout, and pious men and women asked for things of God but were denied their requests.  By struggling with their circumstances, we can learn something about ours.

The Unanswered Prayers of Jesus

Philip Yancey writes about the often ignored fact that even Jesus got a “No” now and then to a prayer he uttered.[ii]  Yancey identifies four times when Jesus suffered an unanswered prayer. 

First, Jesus appeared to receive a version of “No” when praying prior to selecting the Twelve: “12In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. 13And when day came, he called his disciples and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles: 14Simon, whom he named Peter, and Andrew his brother, and James and John, and Philip, and Bartholomew, 15and Matthew, and Thomas, and James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon who was called the Zealot, 16and Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.” (Lk. 6:12-16 ESV)

Jesus spends the entire night in prayer.  Presumably, he is praying for wisdom, discernment and guidance in selecting the twelve men who will form his inner circle and his first and last hope of passing his way of life on to others.  The future of the Christian faith rides on Jesus’ ability to select just the right twelve men.

Yet notice who Jesus selects after his all-night prayer session:

• Simon Peter.  Simon will betray Jesus in spite of personally insisting that he never will betray Jesus.  Simon will so exasperate Jesus that in Mk. 8:33 Jesus will call him Satan.
• James and John.  These two, in Lk. 9:54, will offer to call down fire to consume the Samaritans.  They will, in Mk. 10:37, ask for the seats on Jesus’ right and left.
• Judas.  He will turn Jesus over to be crucified.

In addition, the whole lot of them will get caught up in an argument about which of them is the greatest (Lk. 9:46).  They will all prevent children from getting to Jesus (Lk. 18:15).

The future of the Christian faith depends on Jesus’ ability to select the perfect twelve men.  Yet this is who he selects.

This may not be a “no” per se, but it does seem a roundabout answer to a straightforward prayer.  Jesus prays for wisdom and guidance to pick the best of humanity for the future of his kingdom.  What Jesus then selects are some of the worst, most flawed, and imperfect humans around.  If this prayer was answered, it was not answered in the way we might have anticipated.

A second prayer which received a more definitive “no” is found in the Garden of Gethsemane: 36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. 45Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.” (Matt. 26:36-46 ESV)

Jesus  prays, “Let this cup pass.”  Jesus asks God to change the plan, to call an audible, to stop what is about to start.  Simply put, Jesus asks God to come up with some other way besides the cross.  Some other way besides the discomfort and burden of the cross.  Some other way besides the humiliation and shame of the cross.  Jesus prays, “Let this cup pass.”

And God says “No.”  God refuses to grant this request.  This is perhaps the biggest appeal Jesus has ever made to the Father.  But the Father says “No.”

A third prayer which appears to have received a negative answer comes in John 17: 20“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. (Jn. 17:20-21 ESV). 

There could be no greater unity than that which characterizes Father, Son and Spirit.  The three are literally one.  Here, Jesus prays for that same unity be granted to “those who will believe in me through their word.”  That’s a reference to us and to all who have come to believe in Jesus since the preaching of the apostles.  Yet, this prayer has not been answered.  There could be no greater disunity than that which often characterizes Christians and the church.  Though intended to be one, we are many.  Jesus prays for God to unite us.  Yet that prayer seems to have been unanswered.

Finally, there is Jesus’ prayer for Peter:[iii] 31″Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 32but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. (Lk. 22:31-32 ESV) 

This conversation takes place just prior to the arrest of Jesus.  Jesus informs Peter that he’s been praying for him.  Jesus has been asking God to keep Peter’s faith firm.  “Please, God, don’t let Peter’s faith fail.”  Yet twenty-some verses later, Peter’s faith fails: 54 Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. 55 And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. 56Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” 57But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” (Lk. 22:54-57 ESV).  The prayer for unfailing faith seems to have been unanswered.

We might add to this list Jesus’ prayer called the “Lord’s Prayer”: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. (Matt. 6:9-13 ESV). 

On the surface, the prayer appears to be greatly unanswered. 

• “Your kingdom come”—a prayer for this world to feel like a world in which God’s way is done every day.  Yet how often does this world feel just the opposite? 
• “Give us this day our daily bread.”  Yet how many will go to bed tonight around the world without any bread at all? 
• “Deliver us from evil.”  Yet the news reports tonight and the newspaper tomorrow morning will be full of accounts in which people were not delivered from evil but became victims of evil.

It seems that even the Lord’s Prayer has been unanswered.

Lessons Learned from Jesus’ Unanswered Prayers

What are we to take from this?  If the perfect Son cannot get a “yes” from his perfect Father, what hope do we have?  Reflecting upon these prayers of Jesus provides some helpful guidance.  Consider these four lessons.

First, what we interpret as God saying “no” may be actually be God saying “yes—just not in the way you imagined.”  Jesus’ all-night prayer-vigil for wisdom and guidance did not truly result in a “no.”  It was more of a “yes—just not in the way you imagined.”  Sometimes we may pray for God to do one thing, but he does another thing.  That is not a “No.”  It’s a “Yes—but in a different way than you planned.”  And often God’s answer turns out to be far superior to the answer we were seeking.

Second, sometimes God’s “no” to us is actually a “yes” to his kingdom agenda.  God could not have said “Yes” to Jesus’ plea to “let this the cup pass.”  By saying “yes” to that prayer God would have been saying “no” to his kingdom agenda.  Everything hinged on Jesus’ willingness to go through with the crucifixion.  By telling Jesus “no” in that one instance, God was saying “yes” to his kingdom plans for all eternity. 

That’s easy to take when we can clearly see what God’s kingdom agenda is.  To us, two thousand years later, the idea that God’s agenda for the cross trumps Jesus’ prayer for rescue makes sense.  But sometimes, God’s kingdom agenda may be hidden to our eyes.  We may no sense at all what God is doing.  Yet Jesus’ experience in the garden forces us to accept that sometimes God’s “no” to us is a “yes” to some aspect of his kingdom agenda—even though we cannot see that agenda.

Third, sometimes God’s “no” is the result of human failure rather than divine failure.  The unanswered prayer of John 17 is not God’s fault.  God has created everything necessary for unity among Christians to exist.  He’s created the perfect setting and scenario.  We Christians all share the same Spirit, the same Book, the same mission, and the same Jesus.  God has demolished every racial, economic, and gender barrier possible.  Yet he’s also chosen to operate in a world in which humans have free will.  Human Christians are still free to act with pride, selfishness, insensitivity, racism, sexism, and nationalism.  And those sins are to blame for the unanswered prayer of John 17.  It’s our failure, not God’s.

This is also the case regarding Jesus’ prayer for Peter’s faith.  God certainly answered that prayer by providing all Peter needed to remain faithful.  But God also chose to allow Peter free will.  Peter was free to choose faithlessness rather than faithfulness.  That’s exactly what Peter did.

Sometimes what we interpret as a “no” is the result of human failure not divine failure.

Finally, sometimes what appears to be a “no” is actually an “already but not yet.”  This is the case with the Lord’s Prayer.  Despite what we may observe, God has not been saying “no” to the billions who have prayed for his kingdom to come, for daily bread, and for deliverance for evil.  Some of these supposed failures of this prayer are the results of humans.  For example, God has granted sufficient bread for all who live on this the planet.  But those of us with ten loaves of bread hoard it and feast on it while those in need have none.  Some of supposed failure of the Lord’s Prayer is our fault.

But more importantly, ultimately this prayer has not failed.  God is indeed bringing his kingdom, giving daily bread, and delivering from evil.  He’s already begun to do this.  It’s taking place all around us.  We often fail to recognize it.  But it is happening.  Yet, it’s not happening now to the extent that it will when Jesus’ returns.  God’s answer to the Lord’s Prayer has begun.  But it’s not yet reached its climax.  Only upon the return of Christ will that prayer receive its fullest “yes.”

In early August, 33 miners in Chile survived a mine collapse.  After hours of uncertainty as to whether or not anyone on the surface knew of their existence, they finally received contact from the surface.  The men are 2,200 feet under the Atacama Desert.  They were thrilled when mining and government officials communicated that rescue was on its way.  And there is a sense in which those men are already rescued.  They can already celebrate that their plea for help was answered.  But they are not yet rescued.  Engineers must use a 31 ton drill to create a pilot hole from the surface to the spot where the miners are trapped.  Then, a larger bit will carve out a rescue hole.  This rescue hole will be less than 30 inches wide.  The men will be brought up through that hole in a special cage.  It will take three hours for one man to ride that cage to the surface.  The projected date of the complete rescue is this Christmas.

That is the case with some of our prayers, like the Lord’s Prayer.  We may look around and think the prayer is unanswered.  But it’s not a “no.”  It’s more of an “already but not yet.”  God’s answering that prayer already.  But he’s not answered yet in the way that he will.

Keep Praying

The one thing that strikes me most about these instances in Jesus’ life was his commitment to prayer.  Despite the answer or the un-answer, Jesus prayed.  For Jesus, prayer was far more than just a way to order what he needed.  It was not merely about task—about getting something done.  It was about relationship—about sharing with his Father.  And while unanswered prayer often persuades us to stop praying, perhaps Jesus’ example can persuade us to do just the opposite.  No matter the answer, just keep praying.

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[i] Philip Yancey, Prayer (Zondervan, 2006), 216.

[ii] Philip Yancey, “Jesus’ Unanswered Prayers,” Christianity Today (2/9/98) http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1998/february9/8t2152.html

[iii] Yancey, Prayer, 84.