Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. (Ps. 139:23-24 CSB)
Like a compass reorienting a lost traveler, this prayer points the way to a space where we become people better able to love God, love our neighbor, and love ourselves as God loves us. It is the space of self-examination and confession.
- David asks God to “search him”–to investigate and examine him. He asks God to “test” him–to try him and to expose what lies underneath the visible surface, the image David projects for everyone yet which can act as a stunning veneer hiding the ugliness of sin.
- This supernatural scrutiny is not to stop until it reaches David’s “heart”–the totality of his inner person–and his “concerns”–the things causing disquietude in his mind and soul.
- And what is David hoping God will uncover? “Any offensive way,” or, literally, any “hurtful way.” He hopes God will keep exploring until he exposes anything about David’s thinking, speaking or acting that is hurtful–to himself, his God and to others.
- And why does David invite such an intimate and potentially injurious examination? Because he wants to be in the “everlasting way.” This is not a reference to earning salvation or earning heaven. It is a comment rooted in the biblical understanding that there are some ways of living that have an eternal quality to them; similar to how Paul confesses that “love … endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Cor. 13:7-8 ESV) David longs to travel on the route that will always remain. Self-examination and confession, aided by the divine work of God, lead to that way.
In his book In the Grip of Grace Max Lucado describes this spiritual discipline in this way:
Confession does for the soul what preparing the land does for the field. Before the farmer sows the seed, he works the acreage, removing the rocks and pulling the stumps. He knows that seed grows better if the land is prepared. Confession is the act of inviting God to walk the acreage of our hearts. “There is a rock of greed over here, Father; I can’t budge it. And that tree of guilt near the fence? Its roots are long and deep. And may I show you some dry soil, too crusty for seed?” God’s seed grows better if the soil of the heart is cleared.
God’s seed of love will thrive best in a soil that’s been cleared of obstacles. This is what self-examination does.
For this reason, Ignatius of Loyola and his Jesuits urged that self-examination and confession be practiced on a daily basis. The Jesuits engaged in a discipline called the examen. Its general and more popular form is an examination of consciousness, exploring how aware we are of God during the day. But the examen also has a more specific form, an examination of conscience, which focuses exclusively on the type of self-examination modeled by David in Ps. 139. This is sometimes called “the particular examen of conscience.” In its formal liturgy, this prayer is practiced at the beginning of the day, the middle of the day and at the end of the day. At each pause, we reflect on our sins, confess them, and ask for God’s help in overcoming them. Examining ourselves for sin, with God’s help, and confessing those sins is a first step toward loving God, others and self more fully.
As with other forms of prayer that may be demanding, such as lament, this practice can be aided by using prayers written by others. Here are some prayers of self-examination and confession which come from various sources:
Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent, for the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Name. Amen.
Book of Common Prayer
Prayer of Confession From Rom. 12:9-21
God, I confess the presence of these vices in my life: tolerating evil, being slothful, being haughty, being wise in my own sight, repaying evil with evil, being vengeful, being overcome by evil.
God, I confess the absence of these virtues in my life: loving in a genuine way, holding on to the good, showing brotherly affection, showing honor, being fervent in spirit, being joyful, being patient, being prayerful, being generous, showing hospitality, blessing those who persecute me, living in harmony in with others, associating with the lowly, doing what is honorable, living peaceably with others, overcoming evil with good.
Prayer of Confession From 1 Cor. 13:4-8
God, I confess the presence of these vices in my life: being envious, being boastful, being arrogant, being rude, insisting on my own way, being irritable, being resentful, rejoicing at wrongdoing.
God, I confess the absence of these virtues in my life: being patient, being kind, rejoicing with the truth, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things, never quitting.
Prayer of Confession of Racism
O God, we confess that the sin of racial hatred and prejudice distorts your divine plan for our human lives. You created us in divine likeness, diverse and beautiful. In every person, every race is your image. But too often we fail to recognize your image in all. Forgive us.
You created us in divine freedom, to be free. In every decision, every choice is your possibility of justice. But too often we fail to choose to advocate for your justice for all. Forgive us.
You created us for divine abundance, to tend and share. In every garden, every social structure is your seed of community. But too often we fail to create that community which includes all, and gives to all equal access to your abundant life. Forgive us.
Forgive us. Open our eyes to distinguish good from evil. Open our hearts to desire good over evil. Strengthen our wills to choose good over evil. So that we may create among us your beloved community.
Prayer of Confession of Isms
I confess handicapism: the systematic denial, domination and oppression of people with disabilities.
I confess ageism: the systematic denial, domination and oppression of older adults.
I confess sexism: the systematic denial, domination and oppression of women.
I confess heterosexism: the systematic denial, domination and oppression of lesbians and gay men.
I confess white racism: the systematic denial, domination and oppression of people of color.
I confess classism: the systematic denial, domination and oppression of people because of their economic condition.
Preaching as Weeping, Confession, and Resistance, Christine Marie Smith
Praying words like these once a day could be a vital piece of growing in love, especially love for a neighbor. One of the realities about sins such as racism is that they flourish in spaces where self-examination is banished. An example: pushing back against a social media post about racism which I’d written, a woman once remarked that racism is merely a political fabrication and that she didn’t know a single white person who was racist. But, a survey of her own social media posts revealed clear signs of racism. Her lack of self-awareness led to racist actions and to resistance to anti-racist efforts. In How to be an Antiracist, Ibram X. Kendi writes this:
“…the heartbeat of racism is denial, the heartbeat of antiracism is confession.”
The practice of self-awareness and confession can be one way we push back against our blindness and experience awakening and illumination that leads us to become people of justice and mercy. Take time today, and for several days, to pray David’s prayer from Ps. 139 aloud. Then pray one of the other prayers above. Or simply reflect on a recent twenty-four hour period and acknowledge sin thoughts, speech and action. The spiritual practices of self-examination and confession can be transformative.
