He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. (Jn. 1:11 NLT)
1- Me: The Outsider
Jazzercise.
That one word takes me back to the time when I was in junior high. It was summer. My brother Craig and I were spending summer with my mom. She lived in a city separate from the place where my dad lived. And mom was into Jazzercise. If you don’t know, Jazzercise was an early form of aerobics and similar types of exercise. Mom wanted all of us to go with her to her Jazzercise sessions, thinking it would be good for all of us. I could think of nothing that would embarrass me more than attending Jazzercise with my mom. But I didn’t have a choice. So, we went.
And mom introduced Craig and me to the Jazzercise instructor. It turns out that she had two young boys, just like mom. She showed us pictures: the instructor’s boys were older than us. They were in high school. And they were tall and handsome. She described them: they were outgoing, like their mom the instructor.
And before we knew what was happening, these two moms created a “blind date” for their sons. The instructor’s sons would come pick up Craig and I next Friday night and we’d all hang out together. If there’s anything more awkward than going to Jazzercise with your mom as a junior high student, it’s going on a blind date with two guys you don’t even know. So, Friday night came and the two boys pulled up in their pick up. They squeezed Craig and I into their seats and we drove off together. They were really nice about it–the way a big brother might be nice when mom asks him to watch his baby sister for the evening and he has been making plans to go out with friends. The two guys were really nice. But it was clear from the start that they did not want us to be with them. They lived In this college town and we were just two guys from a very small town. They were popular and knew all the other popular kids. We were total strangers. They were handsome and good looking and we were, well homely. After an awkward couple of hours, they dropped us back off at our mom’s house. We never saw them again.
That was one of those times when I felt like an outsider. I wanted to be included in the circle of those guys and their friends. I really didn’t know many kids my age in my mom’s city. And I was hopeful that this might blossom into a friendship and to being included in lots of activities. But I was an outsider and I never made it inside. I never saw them again.
Sometimes we are treated like an outsider.
- Sometimes when I talk to people who are new to Highland, they’ll say that they actually used to belong to another church but one of the reasons they left that church was they just couldn’t find connections where they were. They were outsiders and never quite made it inside. It’s hard for people new to a church to feel like they ever reach the inside.
- This happens often to people of color who live in places or work in organizations or worship in churches that are predominately white. There is an experience of being on the outside.
- If you’ve ever made a major mistake in your life, it’s an experience that may leave you feeling like you’re on the outside. Even if forgiveness has been extended and time has passed, the stigma of that failure seems to hang on and it’s hard to feel like you’re ever going to get on the inside.
Sometimes we are treated like an outsider.
2 – Jesus: The Outsider
Jesus was treated like an outsider. There is a sad summary of his experience with people at the beginning of the Gospel of John. Coming at the beginning of the Gospel of John, it stands as a shadow over the rest of the story. And here’s what John says:
He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.(Jn. 1:11 NLT)
Jesus was treated like an outsider. He was rejected, even by those who should have been most likely to accept him.
Consider where Jesus came from. Jesus came from an experience where he was fully known and loved and included. This space was the Trinity–in which Father, Son and Spirit had loved and been loved by each other for eternity. For eternity stretching backwards, Jesus had never experienced rejection or intolerance. He was fully loved and accepted by Father and Spirit. Then Jesus made the choice to enter into an experience in which, for the first time, he was treated as an outsider. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.
I wonder if that’s why Jesus touched lepers:
12 While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy. And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13 And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him.(Lk. 5:12-13 ESV)
The attitude of Jesus toward lepers was in marked contrast to that of the rabbis of his day. Ancient records tell that one rabbi would not eat an egg purchased in a street where there was someone with leprosy. Another rabbi threw stones at lepers in order to keep them away. But Jesus touched this leper.[1]He could have healed him from a distance. But Jesus touches him. Why? Perhaps more than anyone else in the culture, lepers represented outsiders. They were outcast because of their contagiousness and ritual uncleanness. But Jesus touched them. Why? Perhaps because Jesus knew what it was like to be an outsider.
It’s significant that by touching the leper, Jesus was actually breaking the Levitical law.[2]According to Leviticus 5, touching a leper was a sin. Jesus violated a biblical law to welcome an outsider. Why? Why would Jesus do this? Perhaps it’s because he was treated as an outsider.
3 – Bethany: The Place for Outsiders
One of the spaces that is mentioned in the gospels is a village called Bethany. Bethany was a place for outsiders.It wasn’t far from the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus experienced betrayal by Judas, a gut-wrenching moment of being treated as an outsider.
One of the things that historians tell us is that in Bethany there was a hospice for people who suffered from ritual uncleanliness. In the ancient Jewish religion, there were conditions, like skin conditions, like leprosy, that could make you ritually impure or unclean. And in this state, you could not be around others. The Bible commanded that you be isolated. But there was this hospice in Bethany where people could come when they had been cast out from their home or their cities because of their leprosy or condition. It was a refuge. It was a safe place. It was a place of welcome. Bethany was a place for outsiders.
We even get a glimpse of this in the gospels. Some of the gospels tell us about the house of Simon the leper which was in Bethany:
3 And while he was at Bethanyin the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. (Mark 14:3 ESV)
We don’t know for sure, but it’s likely, given the presence of the hospice in Bethany, that Simon had spent time at that hospice. As a leper, he would have been an outsider, disconnected from others. But in Bethany, he found a home and a community. Bethany was a place for outsiders like Simon.
The name Bethany means either “house of figs” or “house of misery”–there’s some debate among scholars. If Bethany means “house of misery,” the name is a nod to those who found welcome there. For those who knew the misery of standing on the outside, Bethany became a home, a place where you could feel like you were on the inside.
4 – Mary, Martha, Lazarus: Hosts for the Outsider
And there was one home in Bethany that welcomed the greatest outsider. Besides Simon the leper, the Gospels give us the names of three other people who lived in Bethany. Their names were Mary, Martha and Lazarus. They were siblings. Mary, Martha and Lazarus provided a home in Bethany for Jesus the outsider.
- Lazarus is almost always mentioned last when the gospels tell of the three. Therefore scholars think that he may have been the youngest of the three siblings. The gospels tell us at one point that Lazarus died. His youth would have made that death even more tragic.
- Mary is often mentioned first when two or three of this family are listed in the Bible. Scholars think this may be due to the fact that she was the oldest of the three.
- And the picture we get of Martha is someone who seems to see to the day to day details of the house where all three of these siblings lived. She’s the one busy preparing a meal when Jesus comes to visit in one episode in the Bible.
All three lived in one house in the village of Bethany. At one point that is the house that is called the house of Simon the leper. We don’t know exactly why is it called that. Some scholars speculate that Simon was the father of these three siblings and that he may have died from his leprosy but the house was still known as his house. Some scholars believe Simon was cured of his leprosy and had a home which the three siblings now use.
What does seem clear is that this family had a certain level of resources.
- As will see in a minute their home is large enough for Jesus and his disciples to come into. It’s the size of a family with financial resources.
- In addition when Lazarus dies, he is buried in a tomb that is described in a way that makes it similar to the tomb of a wealthy man named Joseph of Arimathea who lent his tomb to Jesus.
- And in one of the gospel stories we are told that Mary had in her possession a jar of expensive perfume or ointment.
The remarkable thing is that Mary, Martha and Lazarus used these resources to provide a home in Bethany for Jesus the outsider:
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”(Lk. 10:38-42 ESV)
1 Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2 It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. 3 So the sisters sent to him, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill. (John 11:1-3 ESV)
12 Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. 3 Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.(Jn. 12:1-3 ESV)
7 And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it, and he sat on it. 8 And many spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut from the fields. 9 And those who went before and those who followed were shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! 10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!” 11 And he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple. And when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve. (Mark 11:78-11 ESV)
Mary, Martha and Lazarus provided a home in Bethany for Jesus the outsider. It seems to have been the one place where he could be himself and relax and be accepted for who he truly is and what he truly believed. Jesus ate with these three. He stopped by to visit with these three. And especially poignant is the fact that in the days prior to his death, their home in Bethany is where Jesus spent time. To prepare himself for the most brutal act of rejection he would every encounter–the cross–Jesus savored the welcome of these three in their home in Bethany.
It’s possible that this “Bethany friendship” stayed with Jesus in a visceral way. In She Did What She Could, Elisa Morgan asked a series of thoughtful questions about the perfume or ointment Mary poured on Jesus:[3]
I wonder whether later, Mary’s gift gave again: as Jesus prayed in a midnight garden setting, tortured by thoughts of what lay ahead and privately battling with his destiny. As he stood before the high priest, and then Pilate, then Herod, and then back before Pilate, enduring their ridicule and accusations. As the thorny crown was smashed down on his head. As he bent his back under the lashes of the whips. As he struggled to carry a heavy cross through the streets of Jerusalem and up a dusty hill. As he was laid out on that cross and fixed to it by heavy iron nails through his hands and feet. As he hung in crucifixion. As his head fell to his chest, dipping under the weight of his suffering, did any fragrance still linger, mingling with the stench of blood, and bring back, however briefly, that tender moment? In those hours of torture, when the soldiers taunted him by shaking wine before his parched lips, did the remembrance of her gift revive his soul? As he turned to the right and the left, taking in the two sufferings with him and offering to each of them the hope of heaven, did any remaining fragrance convince his frail humanity of the truth of his promise?
It may be that the smell of this Bethany friendship lingered with Jesus all the way to his death.
And, note this: By providing a Bethany friendship to Jesus, Mary, Martha and Lazarus risked critique by the religious community.The three may not have broken any biblical law. But the religious leaders of the day believed Jesus had broken many biblical laws, and by harboring him, by providing refuge to him, this trio was sharing in Jesus’ guilt. Jesus violated biblical law to provide a Bethany friendship to lepers. And these three risked critique by their religious community for providing a Bethany friendship to Jesus.
5 – Bethany Friendships Today
Let’s close by considering this question: What does it look like to provide Bethany friendships today?
First, we should acknowledge that we all need a Bethany friendship. There’s not a person in this room who has not experienced rejection, abandonment, or neglect. Everyone in this room needs a Bethany friendship. We need friends who provide a place of belonging in their hearts and lives for us. We need friends with whom we can truly be ourselves, without fear of being hated or hurt. And if you don’t have a Bethany friendship in your life, begin praying for God to lead you to one. One way to search for one is to join one of our small groups. Signups for those groups are now open.
Second, each of us should consider how we as individuals can extend a Bethany friendship to others. Who around you experiences life as an outsider? And, what would it mean for you to make them an insider? Don’t just limit this to those you know well, people who are similar to you. Consider people who are not like you. People of a different color. People of a different religion. People of a different country. What would it mean for you as an individual Christian to provide a Bethany friendship to them?
Third, what would it mean for us as a church to practice a Bethany friendship? Jesus violated biblical teaching in order to include people like lepers who were not included. Mary, Martha and Lazarus welcomed Jesus the law-breaker, and thus risked critique by the religious community so they could include Jesus, the outsider. Are we as a church willing to follow their example? What would it mean for Highland to demonstrate the same boldness, the same fearlessness, in providing a Bethany friendship today?
It’s not hard to identify groups today who experience life as outsiders. People of color often experience life as outsiders. I received a note once from a parent whose child was being bullied in school because of the color of the child’s skin. I’ve spoken recently to several people of color at Highland who have said this: “I experience racism on a daily basis.” Every day they experience feeling like an outsider. What would it mean to be a church where people of color truly felt like insiders? It might mean changes in our worship. It’d mean welcoming more people of color into positions of leadership. It’d mean listening to the experiences of people of color at Highland and taking their experiences to heart.
People who identify as LGBTQ experience life as outsiders. You may not realize it, but there are people who identify as gay and lesbian at Highland, and several Highland families who have people who identify as gay or lesbian in their families. What would it mean for Highland to extend Bethany friendships to these individuals and to these families? What would it mean to be a place where they were not bullied, not ridiculed, and not made the objects of crude jokes? What would it mean to be a safe place for them.
Some of you may have an immediate negative reaction to this. That may be because you don’t agree with everything the person you’re being called to welcome believes. But consider Mary, Marth and Lazarus. One time when Jesus was over to their house, Martha got upset with Jesus because he wouldn’t tell Mary to help her with the cooking and preparing. From that incident, it’s clear that Martha didn’t agree with everything Jesus did or said. Another time, as Jesus was approaching their home in Bethany, Mary and Martha criticized Jesus because he did not come immediately when they had sent word that Lazarus was ill. It’s clear from that account that Mary and Martha didn’t agree with everything Jesus said or did. Nonetheless, they provided a Bethany friendship to Jesus. Just because you’re not sure you agree with everything another person believes, says or does, doesn’t mean you can’t extend a Bethany friendship to them, or that Highland can’t be a Bethany community for them.
Another group of outsiders are those who’ve done time. During the last week of June, 7 inmates at the Shelby County Corrections Center were baptized. Three of them were from the HopeWorks class, and they were baptized by Highland member and HopeWorks staff member Alex Guy. When I heard about that, I remembered Bethany. Here were men who are outsiders. Many of them, because of their record, may remain outsiders from societal standards, even after they are released. But that last week of June, they became insiders. Jesus himself, and the church as expressed in Alex Guy, welcomed them home.
Frank Viola has devoted an entire book to the importance of Bethany in the life of Jesus. It’s called God’s Favorite Place on Earth. I’ll close with this quote:[4]
Some people may think that Jerusalem is God’s favorite place on earth. And in a sense they are correct. Jerusalem is central in the Bible. It is where God put His name and where He chose to presence Himself in the temple. When Jesus arrived on the scene, however, the holy city of Jerusalem became something that God never intended. And it rejected its Savior. So much so that it crucified Him. The tears of Jesus over Jerusalem, therefore, were not tears of satisfaction and joy. They were tears of sorrow for rejecting its Messiah. In the following pages I will demonstrate that the place where Jesus Christ–God incarnate–was the happiest, the most satisfied, and felt most at home was Bethany. It is in this sense that I am using the phrase “favorite place.”
Highland, which will we be? Will Highland be Jerusalem or Bethany?Will we be Jerusalem–a religious place known more for who they rejected than accepted? A community who made even Jesus remain on the outside? Or, will we be Bethany–a religious place known for the radical way they welcomed? A community whose treatment of others beacons us to bold new ways of living in community with outsiders.
[1]Elwell, W. A., & Comfort, P. W. (2001). In Tyndale Bible dictionary (p. 810). Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
[2]France, R. T. (1985). Matthew: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 1, p. 156). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
[3]She Did What She Could: Five Words of Jesus That Will Change Your Life, Tyndale, 2017, Elisa Morgan, 24-25.
[4]Frank Viola, God’s Favorite Place on Earth, 12-13.
