Today, July 5, begins a 30-day period of (mostly) silence. For the next month my goal is to spend 6-8 hours each day in intentional silence.
Why? At one level, the answer is this: to practice something called the Ignatian Exercises, a set of 500 year old meditations designed to attune the heart to God. My guide in this venture will be Dr. Jackie Halstead from Lipscomb University. The Ignatian Exercises consist of four “weeks,” or sections (taking 30 days):
1) Experiencing the boundless mercy of God
2) Accompanying Jesus Christ on Mission
3) Being with Jesus in his suffering and savoring the grace of compassion
4) Experiencing the joy and sharing the consolation of the Risen Lord
(For a detailed look at the Ignatian Exercises, check out Kevin F. O’Brien “The Ignatian Adventure”)
During these 30 days, I hope to experience at least some of each of this four-fold focus.
At another level, in the words of my director today, these days will largely be about “wasting time with God.” Spending quiet and unhurried moments with God, allowing him to dictate the ebb and flow of our relationship together.
Jackie asked me to do four things today: 1) write a letter to God expressing my hopes and desires for these 30 days, 2) write a letter from God to me in which I imagine God’s response to my letter, 3) meditate upon the Parable of the Prodigal Son, and 4) meditate upon Ps. 63.
Tonight as I meditated upon the parable of the prodigal son, I was struck by this realization: the climax of the story is a moment when words fail God. Revolving around this moment are lots of words. Words from the younger son to the father. Words from the younger son to himself, to God, and then to the father. Words from the father to the servants. Words from the eldest son to the father, and from the father to the eldest son. But in the midst of those words is a wordless moment-the moment the Father embraces and kisses the son.
When the son imagines the very best moment that could still be possible with the Father, he imagines it with these words: “Treat me as one of your hired servants.” But the Father responds with something the son could not even imagine. And it is a response so intimate that words could not do–he embraces the son and kisses the son.
In the image above, Rembrandt famously pictures this wordless moment. And I suppose that is ultimately my desire for these 30 days. I want to experience that wordless moment with God.
Tonight I walked the prayer labyrinth at the Scarritt-Bennett Center in Nashville, TN where I’m kicking off this sabbatical. At each turn I spoke aloud the words of the son, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” When I reached the final turn before entering the center of the labyrinth, I imagined my Father standing in the center. “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” Then I entered the center, knelt before my Father, and silently placed my head against his breast. That wordless moment is one I hope will be repeated during these 30 days.
