Paul writes that the fundamental reality we live in is one in which we are rooted and grounded in love (Eph. 3:17). But how do we experience this? How do we make this reality all the more real? Grief and Gratitude are two primary practices. In the previous post we looked at Grief. Let’s explore Gratitude today.
Gratitude has been examined from an academic perspective (The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky, 90fff). In one study, one group of participants was asked to write down five things for which they were thankful, once a week, for ten weeks. Compared to control groups, this group tended to be more optimistic and more satisfied with life and reported fewer physical symptoms (headaches, coughing, nausea, etc.).
In a similar study, participants who wrote down and reflected on five things for which they were grateful. They reported significantly greater increases in their happiness than control groups over the weeks of engaging in the exercise.
Studies find that gratitude practices like this have at least eight results:
- They promote savoring – extracting the maximum satisfaction and enjoyment from current circumstances.
- They boost self-worth – reflecting on good you have received makes you feel good about yourself.
- They empower coping with stress and trauma – gratitude is a coping method for enduring stressful or negative circumstances.
- They encourage moral behavior – grateful people are more likely to help others.
- They lead to stronger social connections – gratefulness often leads to feelings of connectedness with those for whom we are grateful.
- They diminish feelings of anger, bitterness and greed – it’s hard to feel guilty or resentful or infuriated when grateful.
- They thwart “hedonic adaptation,” the tendency to get used to circumstances, even positive circumstances.
It seems that those who experience the most benefit from gratitude practices are those who engage in multiple types of practices–once a week reflecting on five things they are thankful for; taking time regularly to write a note of appreciation to someone they are thankful for; creating art as an expression of thankfulness, etc.
It is significant that the letter which speaks of us being rooted and grounded in love begins in this way:
How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every blessing in heaven because we belong to Christ. (Eph. 1:3 TLB)
Paul spends much of the entire first chapter listing some of these blessings we have from God. From the very beginning he strives to cultivate within us a spirit of gratitude and praise as one way in which we live out our existence as those rooted and grounded in love.
Towards the end of his letter, as Paul writes about what it looks like to “walk in love,” (Eph. 5:2), he includes the practice of “thanksgiving” (Eph. 5:4) and then urges for the ongoing practice of “giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Eph. 5:20). For Paul gratitude is a habit to be engaged in “always” and “for everything.”
Maya Angelou (Celebrations) writes this wish for us: “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.” I pray that this pillow will accompany you all day and all week. I pray you’ll find tremendous comfort each time you kneel upon it.
