Jesus tells a story to portray what the kingdom of God is like, what life looks like when the love of God reigns on earth and in our lives just as it does in heaven. In this story, according to Jesus, “A man once gave a great banquet and invited many.” (Lk. 14:16 ESV) The host is Jesus. The banquet is the feast of his love which he wishes to share.
The list of invitations in the story appears to have been sent to two groups: the impeccable and the imperfect.
The impeccable included people expected at a prestigious party–those with solid credibility, stylish clothes, and successful careers. The imperfect included people unexpected at a refined regale–”the poor and crippled and blind and lame.” (Lk. 14:21 ESV)
The impeccable seemed worthy of the invitation. The imperfect seemed unworthy of the invitation.
But, surprisingly, the impeccable declined the invite. The imperfect delighted at the invite. They seemed to grasp just what a gift this table and host were.
Trevor Hudson urges us to consider a creative reflection on the story. Using his interpretation, I’ve created an exercise that may be beneficial in helping you experience yourself, your whole self, as God’s beloved.
So, close your eyes. Picture Jesus as the host of a feast of love. You might imagine an impressive hall with an enormous table filled with all your favorite foods. Or you might imagine an intimate table in a corner of a dimly light space with your favorite meal. You could picture a large gathering at, say, Thanksgiving. Just let your imagination lead you. The important thing is that Jesus is present in this imagining, a table is present, and several empty chairs are present.
Now, picture several versions of yourself. There are versions of you that we might call impeccable. Either they represent what you judge as impeccable, or what others/ your culture would judge impeccable. These are versions of you that seem worthy of Jesus’ invitation. These are you at your very best. The you that make you proud of yourself. The you when you put your best foot forward. The you that you tend to think Jesus most approves of. The you that gets the greatest applause or affirmation from others. This might be the you when you remember to pray all the way through your intercessory prayer list. Or the you when you make a meal for a friend who is sick. Or the you when you own up to a mistake you made. Or the you who gets a perfect report card one semester or a promotion at work.
Imagine right now those impeccable versions of yourself coming and taking seats at the table with Jesus: the spiritual you, the responsible you, the disciplined you, the compassionate you, the considerate and sensitive you, etc. Imagine Jesus affirming his love for each of these impeccable versions of you as each one of you shows up at his banquet. Perhaps he tells you verbally. Perhaps he does it with a gift. Perhaps he hugs each of you.
How does it feel to be at this feast of love as the best you that you’ve got?
Now, this next step will be difficult. Most of you will bristle at it. Many of you will feel resistance to it. But, if you are willing, picture now the other versions of yourself. The false self is usually who we bring to Jesus, believing that our true self, with all its flaws and imperfections, could never be loved by Jesus. But transformation can only happen when we allow our true self, all our selves, to be loved by Jesus. So, try to picture the imperfect versions of yourself. They may be imperfect because you judge them to be so. They may be imperfect because others judge them to be so. These are versions of you that seem unworthy of Jesus’ invitation.
One the one hand, these are you at your worst. The you that you are ashamed of. The you that you keep hidden in the dark. The you that you are certain Jesus detests.
This might be the self who forgets to pray again and again. This might be the self who hears about a friend who is sick and forgets about them an hour later. This might be the self who never admits wrong. The self who consumes pornography. The self who criticizes everyone around you. The self who puts career before family. The self who always expects to get your way. The self who wins at any cost.
Imagine those imperfect versions of yourself also coming and taking a seat at the table with Jesus. And now picture Jesus expressing his deep and devoted love for every one of those imperfect versions of yourself as they arrive at the table. Jesus says, “I love you” to the power hungry you. Jesus hugs the irresponsible you. Jesus holds out a gift to the angry you.
On the other hand, imagine the imperfect selves that truly are not imperfect but are deemed imperfect by those around you. Jesus expresses love to that self which others only judge. That self which others bully and mock. That self which others devalue. Because of your skin color. Because of your sexual orientation. Because of a mental or physical limit. Because of your gender. Jesus hugs you. Jesus verbally affirms you. Jesus holds out a gift to you.
Rest for a moment at this feast of Love. Allow Jesus to love all of you, all of your selves. Take a moment to scan the room and each of those chairs. Trust that Jesus adores and treasures each one of you in each one of those chairs. Don’t rush this. Rest in it.
And then give thanks to Jesus for his love. Give thanks for his many invitations to all of you, all your selves, to be at his feast. And rise, whole, integrated, complete. Rise and live in a way that trusts what you’ve experienced. Live in a way that invites the people around you to the very same table.
