In her book Pilgrimage of a Soul, Philena Heuertz writes of going on pilgrimage on the El Camino del Santiago. During her journey, she experienced what she describes as an “awakening.” All her life, religious and cultural and internal voices had stripped her of worth and value. But she began to see herself through God’s eyes. These words from Marriane Williamson spoke loudly to her (39):
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Heuertz came to understand that there are two great sins: pride and self-abnegation (40-45). Pride is associated with a superiority complex. Self-abnegation is associated with an inferiority complex. And while many struggle with pride, far too many also struggle with self-abnegation–refusing to see themselves through God’s loving eyes. Often, self-abnegation is viewed as a virtue and is pressed upon others by those in power. The result is people who never take time to care for themselves, always live with feelings of self-worthlessness, and never achieve their true created potential. We put on masks and pretend to be who we are not, believing others will like the false self we’ve created rather than the true self God created.
Today, let go of that sin of self-abnegation. See yourself as your Abba sees you. Be you and fully you and no one else. Resist every cultural, religious and internal voice that says you are somehow not enough or somehow not worthwhile. You are a child of God. You are meant to shine. Your playing small does not serve the world.
Chris, thank you. So many are socialized to believe that humility is the same as self-abegnation. That standing in your strengths is bragging. Your writing pulls out the strings of pride and bragging over against appropriate humility while being the whole human God made each individual to be.
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