One humorist has explored the reasons that people give for not going to church.[i] He’s taken commonly given reasons for not going to church and asked What if we used the same reasoning in other areas of life? For instance, he asks, what if we decided to stop washing our bodies. When people asked why we don’t wash, we would use the same some reasoning people use to describe why they don’t go to church. Here, then, are ten reasons not to wash (using the same reasons people give for not attending church):
1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites—they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash. It got boring, though, so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I can’t spare the time.
The exercise reveals that some of the negative things people point out about church are really just silly. But there are substantial reasons people don’t go to church. There are serious problems people have with church.
A couple of weeks ago, I came across one of the most serious and substantial problems. It was described in two sources. First, Dan Merchant recently traveled across the country wearing Christian bumper stickers.[ii] They were bumper stickers you might find on a conservative Christian’s car. He used the bumper stickers to engage people in conversation. He wanted to get people talking about how they viewed church and Christians. What he found was discouraging. Many people view Christians as divisive and unloving. Merchant wrote a book about these criticisms. He called it Lord Save Us From Your Followers: Why the Gospel of Love is Dividing America. Merchant found many who believe the American church is too quick to judge and too slow to love. Of course, when some Americans say the church ought to show more love, what they mean is “The church should love me enough that it refuses to tell me what I’m doing is wrong.” But that’s not love. That’s the opposite of love. Still, Merchant found that many Americans view the church as divisive not loving.
The same critique was raised recently by a scholar of early Christianity.[iii] In an article exploring the current disapproval rating of the church, Bradley Nassif traces this disillusionment back to early fourth century. Under Emperor Constantine, the church had seen a large influx of new members. Many, however, joined the church for less than ideal reasons. The church became so lukewarm that some left it and formed Christian communities in the desert. These Desert Fathers sought to live out an authentic Christianity. This movement, Nassif writes, was a reaction against one particular characteristic of the church: the church’s poverty of love. The church, he said, was poor in showing love. With its newfound popularity, the church may have possessed other things in abundance. But not love.
Most of us can probably think of churches and Christians for whom this prophetic phrase is accurate—they are poor in love. I knew a woman at another church named Grace. She had been a Christian nearly twice as long as I had been alive. But her name, Grace, did not match her disposition. She was the most critical and bitter woman in that church. She complained most Sundays about the songs or the sermon. She talked about people behind their backs. She lived in poverty—a poverty of love.
Some of us feel this poverty in our own hearts. At times, we find it hard to love. I was reflecting on my own struggle with this a few days ago. As I was thought back through a previous day, it struck me how often I had not showed love. A co-worker at the office was obviously discouraged about something and I had not asked her about it. I was too busy. A woman called asking questions about the Bible and I had rushed the conversation because I was too busy. That evening I saw someone whom I knew had recently gone through a very difficult circumstance and I did not ask the person how he was. Sometimes I am poor in love. How about you?
Jesus, however, could be described as just the opposite, couldn’t he? Where we are sometimes poor in love, he was rich in love. Some of you can immediately think of examples of his love can’t you? With the exception of the cross, I don’t know any more poignant demonstration of Jesus’ love than a story told by Matthew and others of the time when the leader of a synagogue knelt before Jesus (Matt. 9:18-26). My daughter has just died, he said. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live. Some of you have lost children. You know how that father felt. Some of us, including myself, know those who have lost children. We’ve witnessed people at this point in their lives. And Jesus could have responded with something like Don’t worry. She’s in heaven waiting for you or something like that. But rather than choosing the intellectual option Jesus chose action. He walked this father back to the house where his daughter’s body lay. Along the way, through the crowds, a woman touches Jesus. She’s been ill for twelve years. She’s had to wake up over 4,000 mornings facing another day with a condition that steals her life away. She’s every patient who’s ever been at Saint Jude or MD Anderson. And Jesus could have responded to her with I’ll come back for you or Come see me tomorrow. After all, he’s a little busy with the tragedy of a little girl who’s died. But Jesus stops. Take heart daughter. Your faith has healed you. Jesus refuses to allow her to wake up one more morning in this condition. Then he continues walking the father to his house. There, he takes the dead girl by the hand, and she comes back to life.
What strikes me most about this story is the unplanned nature of it all. It’s not that Jesus spent some time studying the needs of this community to isolate the most critical needs—not that this is a bad thing to do. It’s not that Jesus blocked out a Saturday to go into the community and show some love—not that this is a bad thing to do. Instead, in both instances, Jesus was busy doing something else. Jesus was in the middle of something when the synagogue leader knelt before him. And Jesus was in the middle of something else when the woman stopped him. But in both cases, Jesus chose love. Toss the plans aside. Put the schedule on hold. And love. In Jesus we see the love that is so often missing from our own lives. In Jesus we see the love that is so often missing in our churches. I think we see in him a life that makes us say That’s what I want. I want to live that kind of love.
But how do we bridge the gap between the poverty of love in the body of Christ and the wealth of love in the ministry of Christ? How do we close the gap between the absence of love in our lives and the presence of love in the life of Jesus? How can we become more loving? That’s where the Holy Spirit comes in. As we’ve seen in this series, the Holy Spirit has an intimate connection with Jesus. He is literally “the Spirit of Jesus.” He is the living presence of Jesus. He walks with us on our journey. He guides us in the way of Jesus. And he is the most important solution to this gap between our poverty of love and Jesus’ wealth of love.
Paul writes about the Spirit and love in Gal. 5: 13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Gal. 5:13-26 TNIV) There are two ways to live. You can live by the desires of and leadership of the flesh. The result? You’ll be the very opposite of love: biting and devouring others; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions; provoking and envying others. Or you can live by the leadership of the Spirit. The result? You’ll be the very essence of love. Above all, Paul says, the Spirit will grow within you fruit which consists of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
The purpose of the Spirit is to transform us from the inside out into people who are full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And while Paul does not say so specifically, it seems certain that for him, this fruit which the Spirit can grow sums up the lifestyle of Jesus. John Stott writes, The mere recital of these Christian graces should be enough to make the mouth water and the heart beat faster. For this is a portrait of Jesus Christ. No man or woman has ever exhibited these qualities in such balance or to such perfection as the man Jesus Christ.[iv]
R. A. Torrey writes, We have here a perfect picture of the life of Jesus Christ Himself.[v] This is Paul’s way of summarizing the life Jesus lived: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Every element of the fruit of the Spirit is demonstrated most fully by Jesus. It is no wonder, then, that the Spirit of Jesus takes up the task of shaping us into people who are also characterized in the same way.
Like grapes, this is a cluster of fruit, not different pieces of fruit.[vi] As a cluster, each virtue is related to the others. Many suggest that traits in this list are all just different manifestations of the first trait—love. If love were a cluster of grapes, it would look like this: joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. One author suggests that this list of traits is like white light passing through a prism and being broken down into the colors that make it up. The light is love. The various colors are the various elements which make up love: joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc.[vii]
Thus, of all of these qualities, the one that most describes Jesus is love. The one that most captures the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives is love. Above all else, the Holy Spirit seeks to cultivate the quality of love in our lives. His job number one is to help us become more loving—to move us from poverty of love to wealth of love. Not only is the Spirit the loving presence of Jesus on our journey. Not only is the Spirit revealing the loving way of Jesus on this journey. But he is striving to grow within us the quality of love so that we act more loving on this journey.
A friend of mine recently shared a story which, I believe, illustrates this work of the Holy Spirit. Several years ago she fell in love with a man. He asked her to marry him. She is white. He is black. They knew they would be the object of criticism or ridicule from some people around them. What they did not expect, and what shocked them, was the source of some of the greatest criticism. It came from her family. She grew up in a home where the family attended church services each week, prayed regularly, and read the Bible often. The Christian faith was honoured and held as the center of their family life. Her mother and father were generous and serving people. But as her relationship with her future husband deepened, so did her family’s reservations about it. They would not stand for their daughter marrying a black man. She refused to back down. She loved this man. He was good to her. She believed God had led the two of them together. But her family told her they would not even attend the wedding if she went through with her plans. It was the most painful moment of her life. Then her mother and father called. The asked if she would come to their house—alone. They needed to speak to her. She was afraid of what they were going to say. She went over anyway. And when she sat down, her father shocked her again. This time, in a good way. He confessed to her that he had been wrong. This wasn’t what Christianity was about. He realized that his attitude toward her fiancé was sinful. He asked her forgiveness. And he embraced the man into the family. How do we explain such a turn from hatred to love? That, I believe, was the work of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was able to do what this daughter and her fiancé could not do. The Holy Spirit was able to do what this father himself could not do. The Spirit grew within this man’s heart a more loving disposition. He moved this man to love. It was the work of the Spirit.
How does the Spirit cultivate this quality within us? Author John Stott argues three things in answer to that question.[viii] First, the fact that this is the fruit of the Spirit indicates that this fruit does not come from our own effort or making. This character of love is something only the Holy Spirit can bring. And that fact calls for humility on our part. We must humbly accept that we cannot grow ourselves into this kind of loving person. We cannot make ourselves more loving. A church cannot force itself to become more loving. We need the Spirit to do this within us. This also calls for faith—a belief that the Holy Spirit can do what we cannot—cultivate within us and our churches Jesus’ character of love.
Second, as fruit, this character reaches maturity only over time. It is not a quick process. Even under ideal circumstances, this fruit will not reach maturity overnight. This fact calls for patience. We cannot rush the process of becoming more loving. We must allow the Spirit to work at the pace which seems best to him.
Third, the fact that this is the fruit of the Spirit indicates that while we cannot bring it about through our own effort, we can create conditions in which that fruit will thrive. Everything we do during the day—from what we read, to the people we are around, to the music we listen to—creates a certain condition within our heart which affects the growth of this fruit. This fact calls for discipline. We must be diligent and intentional every day to ensure we are giving the Spirit ideal conditions under which to work.
[viii] Stott, 101-110.
