Twenty-nine year old Andrew Bowen and his wife Heather were unexpectedly expecting in 2008.[1] They already had two girls and thought their family was complete. But Heather’s tubal ligation failed and she became pregnant. They called this surprise their “miracle baby.” Soon, however, doctors discovered a tragic complication. Ultimately, the baby died. Andrew and Heather were devastated. Heather went into a deep depression. Andrew plunged into what he called a “two-year stint of just seething hatred toward God.” How could God do this? What kind of God would bring a miracle baby only to take it away? What in the world was God up to?
What Bowen was experiencing can be summarized by one word: “mystery.” In the ancient world of the Bible the word “mystery” was used to describe the deep questions that come up in life. Questions like the one Bowen was raising. There were even “mystery cults” or “mystery religions.”[2] These offered secret ceremonies through which you could gain wisdom about life and death and everything in between.
In fact, the New Testament authors often used the word “mystery” because it was so common in the ancient world. They used it to point to the Christian faith. If there was a way to find out the hidden and secret things about what God was doing in the world, they believed Christianity was that way. Christianity was the true mystery religion. If you wanted to solve the great mysteries of life you needed Christianity.
Andrew Bowen was trying to solve one of those deep mysteries. How could God have created the circumstances that would end his child’s life? After two years of rage and unanswered questions, Bowen decided on a way to solve that mystery. He launched what he called “Project Conversion.” He would study and practice twelve religions over the next twelve months. Surely one of them, he thought, would provide answers to this puzzle. Using research and mentors, he practiced Hinduism (January), Baha’i (February), Zoroastrianism (March), Judaism (April), Buddhism (May), agnosticism (June), Mormonism (July), Islam (August), Sikh (September), Wiccan (October), Jainism (November) and Catholicism (December). He tried each one—earnestly seeking an answer to his questions.
Perhaps there’s a little of Bowen in us all. Whether in good times or bad, we often reach moments in life when we seek an answer to the mystery of life. In different seasons and in different ways, many of us have sought answers to the great mysteries we encounter in life.
Paul urges us to find these answers in Christ. In Ephesians, Paul uses the word “mystery” six times to describe the Christian faith:
- He writes of God “making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ” (Eph. 1:9 ESV).
- He writes of how “the mystery was made known to me by revelation, as I have written briefly” (Eph. 3:3 ESV).
- He writes, “When you read this, you can perceive my insight into the mystery of Christ…” (Eph. 3:4)
- He writes of “the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things” (Eph. 3:9 ESV).
- He writes that “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Eph. 5:32 ESV).
- He asks his readers to pray “also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel” (Eph. 6:19 ESV).
The last verse is perhaps the most important verse. Paul writes about the “mystery of the gospel.” He’s saying that the answers to the mystery of life are found in the gospel. You will find the answers you need in the gospel. Had he been given the opportunity, Paul would have looked Andrew Bowen in the eyes, wiped the tears from them, and said, “Every answer you are seeking can be found in the gospel. You won’t find it in Islam. You won’t find it in Hinduism. You don’t need to try every religion. You’ll that that the puzzle is resolved in the gospel.” The answers to the mystery of life are found in the gospel.
But what is the gospel? Paul’s most succinct definition of “gospel” comes from 1 Corinthians 15: Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, 2 and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you— unless you believed in vain. 3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. (1 Cor. 15:1-5 ESV). Paul’s way of summarizing the gospel is to say it is the death, burial resurrection and appearance of Jesus. The gospel refers to the death, burial resurrection and appearance of Jesus. And Paul believes that story of a God who so loved us that he gave his one and only son, answers the toughest questions about life.
And that’s why Paul asks for prayers at the end of Ephesians. He asks the readers to pray “also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel” (Eph. 6:19 ESV). Paul wants to open his mouth and proclaim this mystery to everyone. That’s what the book of Acts is about. It’s the record of Paul and others travelling as far as possible to tell as many as possible about this gospel, this love story of a God who sent his son to die on a cross for all of us.
But, as Paul will reveal in Ephesians, all the preaching and mission work in the world wasn’t going to be enough. All the evangelism and outreach in the world wasn’t going to be enough. In order to make sure that the Andrew Bowen’s of life could hear about the gospel, God did much more than just send people like Paul and us to preach and teach the gospel. God did something very creative to illustrate this love story of the death, burial, resurrection and appearance of Jesus.
What God did is similar to what the producers of a Broadway show do when a show in New York turns out to be successful and they want to allow more people to experience that show. For example, the love story of “The Phantom of the Opera” opened on Broadway in New York City in 1988. It is now the longest running Broadway show, with over 10,000 performances in New York City. Producers have encouraged people to come to New York to see the production. But they’ve done something else so that more and more can experience the show. They’ve commissioned groups across the world the perform The Phantom of the Opera in their local communities. This play has been acted out in other theatres in 27 countries on six continents. This includes a national tour across the United States that played on stages, including the Orpheum in Memphis, from 1991 through 2010. The creators and producers of the play in New York wanted to get that love story out as far as possible. So they had local productions done on stages in communities across the world.
This is similar to what God has done with his love story of the gospel. The original showing of that story was in ancient Israel, especially in the city of Jerusalem, some two thousand years ago. That’s where the gospel love story was first produced. But God has also commissioned reproductions of that show to play in stages across the world. Paul explains in Ephesians 5: 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (Eph. 5:23-27 ESV).
There are two love stories being told here. One, of course, is the love story between husbands and wives. We’ll come back to that love story in a moment. The other is the love story between Jesus and his bride. Paul pictures humans who follow Jesus as the bride of Jesus. And he gives us a brief snapshot of the gospel love story. He describes how Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for her—a reference to Jesus’ death on the cross. He describes how Jesus longs to present those same people to himself as a splendid bride. And he describes how this bride is transformed by Jesus’ love, no longer having the scars of sin and the stain of immorality upon her. That is the gospel love story. That was the story that played out in Jerusalem some two thousand years ago. It’s the story of us, people who were scarred by our own sin and stained by our own immorality. Yet Jesus adored us anyway. And he sacrificed himself for us that he might marry us and become one with us.
Paul mentions this spiritual intimacy later in vv. 31-32: 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Eph. 5:31-32 ESV) Once again, there are two love stories being told here. One is the love story between husbands and wives. We’ll come back to that story in a moment. The other is that love story about Christ and the church. The gospel story is one in which people who were once separated from Christ because of their sin have been cleansed and are now one with Christ. It’s the ultimate love story. And that story, Paul says here, is a profound mystery. That love story of the gospel is the answer to every question that truly matters in life.
With that love story in mind, let’s now revisit this other love story Paul is telling—the love story between husbands and wives. Paul weaves these two stories together so closely in this text that it’s at times difficult to tell where one starts and the other ends. Listen closely one more time for the way Paul compares the love story of husbands and wives with the love story of Jesus and the church: 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish…31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Eph. 5:23-27; 31-32 ESV)
What’s Paul saying here? He’s saying that that love story of husbands and wives points to the love story of the gospel. He’s saying that the love first acted by Jesus on the cross for humanity is re-enacted when husbands love wives and wives love husbands. He’s saying that the love displayed in a marriage between a husband and a wife points to the love first displayed between the husband Jesus and his wife the church.
Timothy Keller writes this:[3] “…through marriage, ‘the mystery of the gospel is unveiled.’…The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once.” “Marriage matters” Paul is saying. It matters because through it the mystery of the gospel is unveiled. Marriage is the ultimate reflection of the gospel. When we peer into a relationship in which a husband and wife are loving one another faithfully and sacrificially, we see a reflection of the way in which Christ loves us faithfully and sacrificially.
In other words, marriage matters because it is a local production of the gospel. So that the world might know the great love story of Jesus and the church, God commissioned stage productions to be shown throughout the world. He decreed that every neighborhood in every village in every region in every country around the world at all times should produce a local rendition of the gospel. And this rendition would require only two actors: a husband and a wife. The husband and the wife would love one another deeply, faithfully and sacrificially. They would love so passionately that they would become one. They would love when love was undeserving. They would love when love was difficult. They would love even if it cost them their dreams, their desires and their lives. And as the world watched these sacrificial marriages staged in home theatres around the world, they would glimpse something of the original stage production held two thousand years ago on a hill called Golgotha. When marriage is lived as God decreed—a husband and a wife loving faithfully and sacrificially—it becomes a snapshot of the ultimate love story of all time. That’s why marriage matters.
There are a lot of groups today saying that marriage matters. But some are saying it for the wrong reasons. For example, some say marriage matters because it brings pleasure. Marriage is what completes us, they say. You can’t be happy without getting married, they say. Many of us think of marriage through the lens of the film “Jerry McGuire.” In a famous scene, the independent and successful but struggling Jerry says this to his love interest: “You complete me.” Too many people today say that marriage matters primarily because it completes us. That’s the message they send to their children. Marriage will bring you happiness. It will bring you pleasure. But only God truly completes a person. For example, Christianity’s founder, Jesus, was single yet he was the most fulfilled and complete human in history. Marriage does not complete us and it is not the path to pleasure in life. Finding the right guy or the right girl will not make you truly happy. Singleness is not synonymous with sadness. God is the source of true pleasure, for singles and marrieds.
Still others say that marriage matters because it brings privileges. Our culture is embroiled in a battle about gay marriage. Should gays be allowed to marry? And often the discussion turns around the issue of privilege. There are certain rights and privileges given to married couples in this country. There are over 1,000 legal benefits given by the federal government to married couples. Much of the debate raging in our culture about same-sex marriage is ultimately about those privileges. Should only a man and a woman be granted those rights? Or should marrying gays also be granted them? Yet when the marriage discussion is limited primarily to issues of privilege like this, it can lead to very wrong conclusions.
For Paul marriage matters not because it brings pleasure or civic privilege. Marriage matters because it is a production of the gospel. When you’ve been privileged to see a husband and a wife love one another unconditionally, you’ve gotten a glimpse of the gospel. You’ve seen something of God’s love for us. And when you’ve lived such a love in your own marriage, you’ve helped others see the gospel. Marriage is a local stage production of the gospel. It’s one of the ways in which God helps the world to see the love story of Christ and his church.
My in-laws Ken and Nelda Hardin stage a production of the gospel in their Tempe, Arizona home every day. Through wars, a military career, several moves, and terminal illnesses, they’ve loved one another faithfully for decades. Jerry and Bonny Nowlin stage a production of the gospel in their Memphis home every day. For decades they’ve loved each other truly and faithfully. Buster and Kim Clemens are celebrating thirty years of enacting the gospel in their own marriage in their home in East Memphis. This congregation is filled with husbands and wives playing out the gospel love story in their own marriages.
Here’s one story: [PP video testimony]
[2] Everett Ferguson Backgrounds of Early Christianity Eerdmans, 1987: 198.
[3] Keller, Timothy (2011-11-01). The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (Kindle Locations 655-658). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.
