Prayer and Pain
A couple of years ago I experienced several weeks that were filled with despair. I sat with a family the day after Christmas watching their father and husband slip into the arms of Jesus. Then, shortly after New Years, my family received news that doctors had found a tumor in the brain of the woman who once babysat our daughter. Days later a report came from Arizona stating that my wife’s mother had been found unconscious. Later, from New Jersey arrived a call stating that the younger sister of my step-father had succumbed to breast, liver, and bone cancer.
During this same time period, I left the country. While in the Philippines visiting Highland’s missionaries, I saw families living in tin shacks with neither water nor electricity. Days later, while walking the streets of Bangkok, Thailand I saw disfigured men and women begging on the streets. And while there, we received the shocking news of the earthquake in Haiti.
It was several weeks in a row of experiencing or witnessing pain and suffering. And these weeks raised many questions. My toughest questions had to do with prayer. First, I had questions about the practice of prayer. Many of the people who had suffered during these weeks had been the subject of prayers. I and others had begged for their healing. Yet our prayers made no difference. Why? Why practice prayer when it doesn’t seem to stop suffering or trials?
These questions about the practice of prayer were mixed with more questions about the object of prayer. What kind of God would allow people to endure the suffering I had seen during these weeks? Could I still pray to a God who would allow this? Suddenly I wasn’t so sure about the object of my prayers.
Today, 9/11, perhaps many are struggling with similar questions. As we relive or learn for the first time about the violence, death and destruction that took place on 9/11, we may have many questions. Some of them may relate to prayer. Why practice prayer when it doesn’t seem to stop things like 9/11 from happening? And why pray to a God who would allow something like 9/11 to happen?
When it comes to pain and prayer, there is a great deal of tension. Prayer, in many ways, is motivated by pain and despair. In his book Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? Philip Yancey writes, “Every faith has some form of prayer…We pray because we want to thank someone or something for the beauties and glories of life, and also because we feel small and helpless and sometimes afraid…We pray because we can’t help it. The very word prayer comes from the Latin root precarious…”[1] We could say that prayer is universal because life is so precarious. We pray because we are in danger and in despair and we don’t know what else to do. In fact, theologian Ole Hallesby writes, “Only he who is helpless can truly pray.”[2] Prayer is often motivated by pain and despair. Pain may lead us to pray more than we’ve ever prayed before.
Yet the same suffering which gives rise to prayer also endangers prayer. When people have been bold enough to share with me that they used to pray but now no longer pray, the reason they’ve almost always given is this: They stopped praying because it didn’t make any difference. The grandmother prayed for at bedside still died. The child prayed for each night still suffered a car accident. The spouse prayed for each morning still strayed. The despair of life so often seemed to disprove the validity of praying. The same difficulty which may force me to my knees in prayer may eventually convince to stop praying.
Today, on 9/11, some of us may be wrestling with this very thing. A few years ago, as I experienced those weeks of despair, I felt that tension. The circumstances that drove me to my knees also raised a lot of questions about what I was doing down here on my knees.
Jesus and the Priority of Prayer
Hoping to find some answers, I launched into an investigation of Jesus and prayer. Could Jesus identify with my questions? Did Jesus have perspective regarding prayer and pain? Thankfully, I found more than I could have imagined.
There are about thirty references to Jesus’ prayer-life in the Gospels. Luke’s Gospel contains many of these references. In fact, Luke’s Gospel begins and ends with these references. Jesus’ prayers are the bookends between which Luke’s story rests.
- Luke opens his Gospel with Jesus praying: “Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying… (Lk. 3:21 ESV emphasis added).”
- Luke then closes his Gospel with Jesus praying: “Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and lifting up his hands he blessed them. While he blessed them, he parted from them and was carried up into heaven (Lk. 24:50-51 ESV emphasis added).” The act of blessing was an act of prayer. Jesus was praying for God to bless his followers.
Luke’s Gospel opens and closes with Jesus praying. Luke seems to be saying that to understand the life of Jesus we must understand the prayers of Jesus. Jesus’ story makes the most sense when seen through the lens of prayer which begins and ends Luke’s Gospel.
More specifically, Luke targets the fact that Jesus habitually prayed: 15But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. 16But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray (Lk. 5:15-16 ESV).
There is a surprising contrast in this text.[3] In verse 15, Luke literally writes that “great crowds would gather.” The “would” indicates something that happens repeatedly. Again and again the great crowds would gather to hear Jesus and to be healed by Jesus. Yet ironically, in verse 16 Luke literally writes that Jesus “would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” Again, the “would” indicates something that happens repeatedly. Again and again Jesus would withdraw to a desolate place and pray.
There was a kind of dance happening in Jesus’ ministry. Verse 15: Great crowds would gather to hear Jesus and to be healed by Jesus. Verse 16: Jesus would withdraw for solitude and prayer. This two-step was repeated again and again.
And it’s not a two-step many of us are likely to use. What Luke describes in verse 15 is something many of us drool at. It’s what we dream about. Who wouldn’t want word-of-mouth about their ministry, their product, their organization, or their agency spreading like wildfire? And who wouldn’t want the growth, sales chart, and quarterly report to reflect seemingly unending increase? Verse 15 is something most in our culture hunger for and work tirelessly for.
But not verse 16. When it comes to verse 16 most of us put it off. We delay it. If verse 15 ever happens in our life, we tend to think that there will be plenty of time later for verse 16, when things slow down. Most of us would take the great crowds and the success they symbolize. Most of us would delay the prayer in desolate places.
But not Jesus. Again and again, in the height of “success,” Jesus would withdraw to isolated places and pray. And it’s not like Jesus could just send in a replacement while he was gone to these desolate places for prayer. His bench wasn’t exactly deep. When Jesus left the field, the game stopped. The crowds had to stand and wait until he came back. Any “expert” will tell you that’s the easiest way to kill momentum. You strike while the iron is hot. You minister while the crowds are coming. But Jesus was so unconcerned about “success” and so committed to prayer that he often pressed PAUSE in the heat of success and withdrew for times of prayer.
In his book on the prayers of Scripture called Praying Dangerously Gary Holloway writes, “Withdrawing to pray alone was a constant feature of Jesus’ life. To him prayer was not just a religious ceremony to be done in a synagogue, not just a custom before meals, and not just a last resort in times of trial. Prayer was the lifeblood of Jesus.”[4]
Why? One scholar suggests that in Luke 5 we see a Jesus who turned “from the good [teaching and healing great crowds] to the power necessary to resource the good.”[5] That is, Jesus realized that verse 15 could not exist without verse 16. There was an unbreakable bond between the two. The power which fueled the public ministry in verse 15 came from the private time of prayer in verse 16. And if Jesus couldn’t have verse 15 without verse 16, we should not believe for a second that we can either.
In his book Traveling the Prayer Paths of Jesus John Indermark writes, “Jesus immersed himself in prayer when there was so much to be done and so little time to do it. Why? Time to nurture the spirit was not, and is not, a secondary luxury to be attended to only after all the real work gets done. It precedes busyness and routine…The question is not whether you can afford to have such times…The question is whether you can afford not to have them.”[6] For Jesus, prayer was of the highest priority.
Jesus’ Prayer and Jesus’ Pain
Jesus has a great deal to teach us about prayer in general. But his most powerful lessons come in the area of pain and prayer. As I surveyed the prayer-life of Jesus what most caught my attention was this: the Gospels do not give us the word of a single prayer uttered by Jesus until after he begins his final journey to Jerusalem. That is, we do not have a single word of a single prayer from Jesus until he begins the most painful season of his life.
There are at least ten occasions on which the Gospels record the words Jesus spoke in prayer. None of these ten prayers take place until after Lk. 9:51-“When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem ( Lk. 9:51 ESV).” This is the turning point in Luke’s portrait of Jesus. It falls on the heels of the Transfiguration and the two-fold prediction of Jesus’ death (Lk. 9:22, 44). From this point forward, everything Jesus says and does is colored by Jerusalem and its cross. And every one of the ten prayers of Jesus for which we have his actual words occurs after this marker. We know Jesus prayed before this point. But the Gospel authors only recorded the prayers Jesus prayed after this point.
Appearing as they do after Lk. 9:51, every prayer of Jesus which is preserved for us is influenced by the challenge and suffering brought by the cross in Jerusalem. There is no greater assistance in knowing how to pray and what to pray in darkness and despair than that found in the ten prayers of Jesus. By looking at how Jesus prayed during the most painful time of his life, we can learn how to pray in the painful times of our lives.
Three Ways to Pray in Pain
And when we look at how Jesus prayed during his period of pain, what we find is remarkable. Because Jesus didn’t just pray one kind of prayer from his pit. There wasn’t just one kind. Jesus revealed at least three different ways to pray when going through pain; three aspects that ought to be covered in prayer when we find ourselves in a pit of despair. Let’s look briefly at the three kinds of prayers Jesus prayed when he was in pain.
First, Jesus prayed inward prayers of complaint. Here are two examples:
- “…let this cup pass from me… (Matt. 26:39 ESV).” Jesus is lamenting, “I am despondent. My circumstances seem hopeless and I wish you would change them.”
- “…why have you forsaken me (Mk. 15:34 ESV)?” Jesus is crying out, “I am deserted. Everyone has abandoned me. Even you, Father, are gone.”
Here, Jesus gives voice to the deepest feelings of disappointment and discouragement. In his inward prayers of complaint Jesus teaches us how to look deep within ourselves and to share those dark and discouraging feelings with God in prayer, to complain about our pain.
Jesus’ inward prayers of complaint teach us to lament loudly and freely to God.
Second, Jesus prayed upward prayers of confidence. Here are two examples:
- “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will (Matt. 11:25-26 ESV).” Jesus says “I thank you” even in the midst of some very difficult circumstances. Jesus is confidently stating, “In spite of the chaos and the craziness of life, I believe you are still in charge and you are still at work.”
- “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit (Luke 23:46 ESV)!” Jesus is courageously saying, “In the midst of the despair, I know your hands are still strong. Though everything around me tempts me to believe otherwise, I know you still hold me in your hands.”
Despite the darkness and the despair, Jesus is able to pray upwardly with confidence that God still rules, still listens, still reigns, and still cares. Through these upward prayers of confidence Jesus shows us how to trust God even in the darkness.
Third, Jesus prays outward prayers of compassion. Here are two examples:
- “Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one…I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one…Sanctify them in the truth (Jn. 17:11,15,17 ESV).” Even though Jesus is the one facing death, he turns his prayers outward and prays with compassion for his disciples. He asks God to keep and protect them and to guard them from the evil one.
- “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Lk. 23:34 ESV).” For those who caused his death, Jesus is praying, “Forgive their faults. Heal their hostility. Do not hold this sin against them.”
Even in his own pit of despair, Jesus is able to look beyond his own circumstance and express compassion for others. He intercedes for people around him, even for those who have contributed to his despair.
Jesus’ outward prayers of compassion teach us to focus on the needs of others and the importance of interceding for others even when we are the one in pain.
Perhaps knowing our greatest needs, the biographers of Jesus have only recorded prayers which Jesus uttered in the context of suffering. The sole prayer-words we have from Jesus are those spoken when his life was at its toughest. And through these words, we learn God’s greatest lessons for conversing with him in our days of darkness and despair.
Let’s allow Jesus’ inward prayers of complaint to coach us in expressing discouragement and disappointment to God. Let’s permit Jesus’ upward prayers of confidence to equip us to trust and believe even when we want to doubt and deny. And, let’s invite Jesus’ outward prayers of compassion to turn our focus from our own hurt to the hurts of others.
I was recently talking to a friend of mine. For several months he had faced a seemingly immovable barrier in his ministry. One person was frustrating every move he made to pursue the course he believed God wanted the congregation to take. He and other leaders had discerned bold and inspiring visions for the church’s future, but all of them were on hold because of this one stubborn person. My friend tried everything he could think of. He sought to reason with the individual. He asked his mentors to coach him on what to say. He gathered other church leaders and had them speak to the individual. He even threatened the individual (in a Christian way, of course). But nothing happened. Finally, one day recently, a ministry colleague simply asked him, “Have you fasted and prayed about this? If I were you, that’s what I would do. Fast and pray.” My friend had not. That week he started. He decided to spend each Thursday fasting and praying. Four weeks later, that stubborn individual holding everything up took a job offer in another state. Prayer had been my friend’s last resort. It should have been his first resort. Because, in the end, it was his only resort.
Jesus’ example of prayer, especially of prayer in painful times, should inspire us to never let prayer be our last resort. It should inspire us to always let prayer be our firs resort. Because, in the end, it is our only resort.
[1] Philip Yancey, Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? (Zondervan, 2006), 13.
[2] Ibid., 33.
[3] Luke Timothy Johnson, The Gospel of Luke Sacra Pagina (Liturgical Press, 1991), 92-93.
[4] Gary Holloway, Praying Dangerously (Leafwood, 2010), 147.
[5] Ibid.
[6] John Indermark, Travelling the Prayer Paths of Jesus (Upper Room, 2003), 32.
