Jesus’ vision of life involves three areas: our walk with God (piety), our human relationships (people), and our approach towards money and stuff (possessions). We’re spending a total of twelve days right now exploring Jesus’ vision for the people-part of our life and how to lean into that vision. Service is one ten-minute spiritual practice that allows us to join Jesus in transforming our human relationships. Confession is another critical practice.
In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus envisions a way of life in which we do not judge others but instead recognize our own flaws and limitations (Matt. 7:1-5). He calls us to treat others in the way we wish to be treated (Matt. 7:12). One way to journey towards that vision is through the habit of confession. Confession is a habit which keeps us from judging others (and thus destroying relationships). It is an exercise which keeps us humble and thus better able to treat others with the grace and sensitivity with which we wish to be treated.
James Bryan Smith writes that too many of us have bought into a false story or false narrative which says “I need to judge in order to fix someone or feel better about myself.”[i] Judging is making a negative evaluation about a person without truly standing in solidarity with that person. This is different than merely assessing a person’s behavior. Smith writes that at best, our relationships with other people are often characterized by judgment and condemnation because we genuinely think that by pointing out another person’s failures, we are actually helping them. At worst, our relationships are characterized by judgment because when we put someone else down, it lifts our own ego up. Either way, our tendency to judge and condemn destroys our relationships.
One sure cure for this is confession. The more regularly we confess to God (and to others) the less likely we are to judge the flaws of others or look down on people for their own flaws. Marjorie Thompson writes that one of the fruits of confession is greater compassion: “The more clearly we see ourselves, the harder it becomes to judge the weaknesses and failures of others…As we perceive the realities of sin in ourselves, we can identify with the brokenness of others. Instead of condemning someone whose behavior is irritating or unacceptable, we may recall similar behavior in our own lives. This doesn’t make the behavior more palatable, but it gives us a different perspective on the wounds of the person behaving under compulsion.”[ii]
Take ten minutes today to prayerfully evaluate your recent thoughts, motives and actions. Having identified some which have been less than godly, acknowledge them to God. Be transparent with your Father. Then receive his forgiveness. Allow it to flow over you and within you. Know that he loves you in spite of these struggles. Then leave, changed, prepared to be more caring and sensitive regarding the flaws of others in your life.
[i] James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful Life.
[ii] Marjorie Thompson, Soul Feast (Westminster John Knox, 1995), 98.
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