Prayer as Active Asking
Several days ago the small group which my family and I attend discussed the prayer-life of Jesus. After a lengthy conversation, several of us confessed our desire to spend more time in prayer—like Jesus. But one group member spoke for more than just herself when she said, “But honestly, I don’t know what I would do if I spent more time in prayer. I’m not sure what else I would say. I’d run out of things to pray about.” She and we wanted to spend more time in prayer. But we were confused about how we’d actually spend that time.
This is most likely a symptom of a particular view of prayer. For many of us prayer primarily involves what I’ll call Active Asking. Prayer, for most of us, is an active, not passive, activity. It involves us physically doing something. Our hands fold. Our mouths open. Our tongues move. And our minds cycle through the list of needs, requests, issues, and topics. It is an active asking.
Thus, when it comes to increasing the amount of time we spend in prayer, the only increase we can imagine is an increase in that activity and that asking. We’ll need to find more things to request, more people to intercede for, more topics of conversation to process with God, and more issues requiring his divine attention. In other words, if we want to increase our prayer time we’ll need to increase our prayer list.
Not that this is bad. One thing that becomes clear by praying through the Psalms, the prayers of Jesus, the prayers of Paul, and the petitions of others in Scripture is that there are many things on the prayer lists of these godly men and women which are not on our prayer lists. We ought to spend more of our time praying about the things which show up on their prayers lists.
But there is a limit to the length of one’s prayer list. There is a limit to this side of prayer. Prayer, in Scripture, was never intended to solely be Active Asking. There is an entirely different side to prayer. It is a side of prayer new to many of us. Yet it is a side which opens grand new experiences with God and bold new opportunities in prayer.
Psalms and the Other Side of Prayer
This other side of prayer begins to peek out at us when we read through portions of the Psalms. The Psalms are certainly filled with Active Asking. There are a lot of prayer lists in the Psalms. But there’s something else there. Something that may escape our notice because it is quiet and unassuming. At first glance, it doesn’t even appear to be prayer.
One of the things which those praying in the Psalms emphasize is the importance of being quiet and still (ESV):
- Psalm 4:4 – Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
- Psalm 23:2 – He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
- Psalm 37:7 – Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
- Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
- Psalm 62:1,5 – For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation..For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
- Psalm 131:1, 2 – O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.
One of the things which those who prayed the Psalms into existence emphasize is the importance of quietness and stillness. There is a side to prayer that is less active and more passive, less doing and more being. There is a type of prayer which involves silence and stillness.
Silence and stillness are things which can conquer sinful anger (Ps. 4:4). God desires to bring us to experiences of “still waters,” restful and quiet moments (Ps. 23:2). Stillness is one of the ways in which we stop trying to take control and allow God to take control (Ps. 37:7). It is often in quiet rest that we best come to know and experience that God is truly God (Ps. 46:10). It is in times of silence that we find salvation and hope (Ps. 62:1,5). And God wishes to bring us to times with him when we are like a weaned child with its mother, resting quietly in his presence (Ps. 131:1,2).
This other side of prayer is also teased out in the Psalms through the oft-repeated theme of waiting on the Lord (ESV):
- Psalm 25:3 – Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
- Psalm 25:5 – Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
- Psalm 25:21 – May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
- Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!
- Psalm 31:24 – Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!
- Psalm 33:20 – Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
- Psalm 37:7 – Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
- Psalm 37:9 – For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land.
- Psalm 37:34 – Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.
- Psalm 38:15 – But for you, O LORD, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
- Psalm 39:7 – And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.
- Psalm 40:1 – I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
- Psalm 52:9 – I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.
- Psalm 62:1,5 – For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation…For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
- Psalm 130:5 – I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.
- Psalm 130:6 – my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.
There is a lot of waiting going on in the prayers and songs of the Psalms. Courage comes as we wait (Ps. 27:14). God answers as we wait (Ps. 38:15). Hope arrives as we wait (Ps. 39:7).
Waiting is something that is passive. Waiting involves a lot of standing around and doing nothing. It involves stillness. In fact, twice a psalmist ties “waiting” and “stillness” or “silence” together:
Psalm 37:7 – Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him
Psalm 62:1,5 – For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation…For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
Psalm 62 is especially instructive. David, the author, is facing significant challenges. But in the face of these difficulties, he waits silently before God (NLT):
1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. 3 So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I’m just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence. 4 They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.
Silent and still waiting is so beneficial in the face of these challenges that David once more speaks to himself, telling himself to remain quiet before God:
5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. 7 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
The word translated “alone” or “only” begins 5 of the verses in the Psalm. David wants to emphasize that “only God” and “God alone” is his strength and help in difficult times. The way he comes to understand this and express this is through still and quiet waiting.
Prayer as Restful Receiving
While many of us operate with a paradigm of prayer as “Active Asking” these Psalms point to another paradigm—prayer as “Restful Receiving.” Here, prayer is not acting. It is resting. Here, prayer is not asking. It is receiving. Prayer becomes less something we do and more something that is done to us. We rest in the Lord. We are quiet and still in His presence. We calmly wait—for knowledge of him, for action from him, for a word from him.
This type of prayer has become known as “Contemplative Prayer.” In a nutshell, Contemplative Prayer, or what I’m calling “Restful Receiving,” is simply spending intentional time in silence before God. It is prayer that is intentional time in silence before God. It can be for the sole purpose of resting in God and just being with God. It can be for the additional purpose of receiving something from God—knowledge of God, a word from God, some action of God’s.
Restful Receiving, however, is not what we may think (or fear!).
- It is not a relaxation exercise.[i] The primary purpose is not to lower blood pressure or decrease stress—although those things can certainly happen.
- It is not a mystical experience in which God appears visibly to us or audibly speaks to us.[ii] In our stillness and quietness, God certainly could choose to appear visibly or speak audibly. But that’s not to be expected.
- And it is not an attempt to empty the mind. The purpose of Eastern meditation is to empty the mind. But the purpose of Restful Receiving is more to fill the mind—with God.[iii]
Restful Receiving is primarily spending intentional time in silence before God. In that stillness we can receive the rest God wishes to bring and we can enjoy just “hanging out with God.” In addition, that quietness allows us to be more receptive to something God may wish to do or to reveal. We may receive from God a small but important word about our day, about our past, or about something God is teaching us regarding himself.
Because of biblical texts like the Psalms, for the first 16 centuries of Christianity, Restful Receiving was recognized as the goal of Christian spirituality. It was expected that every Christian would strive to experience this type of prayer. The Greek Church Fathers used the word “theoria” to describe an experiential knowledge of God. “Theoria” was translated into the Latin word from which we get the English word “contemplation.” Literally, Contemplative Prayer is experiencing God, being with God. One ancient author called it “resting in God.” This type of “resting in God” was understood to be the final step in a widely prescribed method of Bible reading called “lectio divina”, or divine reading, which culminated in contemplation. Lectio Divina consisted of three steps:
- Meditatio – a reflective pondering of the words of a text.
- Oratio – our spontaneous response to those reflections in spoken prayer.
- Contemplatio – a state of resting in the presence of God.[iv]
A couple of images may help make more sense of this type of prayer. First, imagine a car with an engine and a radio. We often hear the loud radio but we rarely just listen to the engine. In fact, the only time we tend to hear the engine is when something is wrong. The radio signifies much of our world and much of what occupies our attention in life. The engine signifies God. He is what ultimately drives our life. Restful Receiving is a way of turning down the noise of the world (the radio) in order to attend to the voice and presence of God (the engine).[v]
Second, imagine a river flowing with water. On top of the water are boats and other debris (branches of trees, some garbage, etc.). We often tend to focus on the boats that are on the water and on the debris floating down the river. We don’t pay that much attention to the water itself. The boats and debris signify much of our world and much of what occupies our attention in life. The water itself signifies God. Restful Receiving is a way of turning our attention from the boats and debris to the river itself.[vi]
Concerning the restful element of this type of prayer Peter of Celles wrote this in the Middle Ages:[vii] “God works in us while we rest in him. Beyond all grasping is this work of the Creator, itself creative, this rest. For such work exceeds all rest, in its tranquility. This rest, in its effect, shines forth as more productive than any work.”
There is a rest of the soul that comes only through Contemplative Prayer. And it is a rest that ultimately proves to be more productive than any work we might do. The fruit of resting silently in God will be borne throughout the rest of the day, the week, the month, and the year.
Regarding the receiving element of Contemplative Prayer, a 4th century Desert Father wrote these words:[viii] “Behold, my beloved, I have shown you the power of silence, how thoroughly it heals and how fully pleasing it is to God. Wherefore I have written to you to show yourselves strong in this work you have undertaken, so that you may know it is by silence that the saints grew, that it was because of silence that the power of God dwelt in them, because of silence that the mysteries of God were known to them.”
There is spiritual growth that will only take place through silence. There is power that becomes available only through silence. There is knowledge and understanding that only comes through silence.
Restful Receiving Light
There are many ways to incorporate Restful Receiving into our lives. I’ll mention three general ways.
First, we can practice what I’ll call “Restful Receiving Light.” We can incorporate moments of intentional silence into activities we are already doing. For example, my drive to work takes about twenty minutes each morning. For about ten minutes of the drive, I listen to an audio version of the One Year Bible. For the remaining ten minutes, I just drive in silence. It is intentional silence because I remind myself that God is present with me and it is my desire to just spend that silent time with him. I find that I am peaceful, sharp, and God-oriented once I arrive at the church building because of those few moments of silence.
Perhaps you walk or bike or run for exercise. Consider spending at least part of that time in silence. No whistling. No iPod. Just walk, bike or run in quietness. But be intentional. Remind yourself that God is with you and you desire to spend that time with him.
The next time it’s your turn to wash the dishes, or make dinner, or do some other chore or household task, do it in silence. Remind yourself that God is present and you want to be present to him. No TV. No radio. Just intentional silence.
Restful Receiving Light is when we work intentional silence into things we are already doing.
Targeted Restful Receiving
Second, we can practice what I’ll call “Targeted Restful Receiving.” In Targeted Restful Receiving we set some item before God and we silently seek to hear from God about it. That item might be a text. As we read the Bible, we might bring that text before God and seek to hear from God about that text. In addition, similar to the practice of The Examen, we might bring a specific time period (e.g., the last 6 hours) before God and seek to hear from God about that time period. Or we might bring before God a specific issue, challenge, or trouble and seek to hear from God about that issue, challenge, or trouble. The goal is to intentionally bring something before God and then to be quiet and receptive to something he may lead us to understand regarding that item.
For example, I do this when I read the Bible early each morning. I read the text slowly and deliberately out loud several times. Then I am quiet. And I seek to hear from God what part of that text does he most want me to pay attention to? What part of that text is the most important word for me to hear that day?
If you find yourself worried or anxious about something, take a few moments to verbalize that to God, and then sit in silence. God may communicate something to you regarding that item.
If you find yourself needing to make a decision, verbalize that to God, then sit in silence. Be receptive to what God might communicate in that stillness.
Restful Receiving Premium
Finally, we can practice what I’ll call “Restful Receiving Premium.” This is the most formal version of Contemplative Prayer. This is not silent time we add to something we are already doing. This is silent time we carve out of our schedule. It is not silent time meant to hear from God. It is silent time meant simply to spend in the presence of God.
Ideally, it is 20 minutes at the beginning of the day and 20 minutes at the end of the day. The goal is not to hear from God, but to be with God and be present to God for 20 full minutes of silence. It takes at least this long for the average person’s mind to stop wandering and grabbing on randomly to thoughts, memories, and feelings and to arrive at a state of true interior silence.
Ideally, in this level of Contemplative Prayer, we sit with our eyes closed and are present with God in total silence. No inspirational music playing. No humming or singing. Just silence. In the silence our mind begins to wander. Rather than try to ignore those distracting thoughts, we intentionally let go of them, as if releasing a stick and allowing it to float down the river. As each emotion or random thought comes, we attend to it and let it go down stream. The goal is let these go and to just exist in the presence of God.[ix] We are not trying to solve any problems, process any feelings, or understand any text. We are trying to intentionally spend 20 minutes in stillness with God.
Letting God Be God
Perhaps one of the most important aspects of Contemplative Prayer or Restful Receiving is that through it we allow God to be God. At times, prayer can be a power trip. It can be our attempt to get God doing what we want him doing. It can be our way of trying to persuade God to fulfill our wishes and dreams and aspirations. But Restful Receiving turns those tables. Restful Receiving forces us to just be quiet and let God do what he wants to do.
This is captured beautifully in Psalm 131 (The Message):
1God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans. 2 I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content. 3 Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always!
May we rest in God and find our soul’s content in that rest.
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[i] Thomas Keating Open Mind Open Heart (Continuum, 1992).
[ii] Ibid.
[iii] Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline Revised Edition (Harper & Row, 1988), 20.
[iv] Keating.
[v] Mark Thibodeaux Armchair Mystic (Saint Anthony Messenger Press, 2001.
[vi] Keating.
[vii] Thomas Merton Contemplative Prayer (Image Books, 1996), 59.
[viii] Ibid., 42.
[ix] Keating.
